Crazy Leg Syndrome

On my way back to Cork with my father today I was struck with a flash of anxiety. This happens every once and a while when I'm in a moving vehicle. This has happened since we had a car crash a year and a half ago. It is by no means debilitating or even enough to get seriously worried about. It just happens. 

Today it seemed a lot worse. We were traveling the Mallow to Cork road just after 7 this morning. It was still pitch black, save for the headlights on the road. We were about half way when the anxiety struck me. It usually happens when a car is pulling out close to us or taking a sharp turn or at roundabouts and there is a line of cars waiting, but today there was no trigger that I could put my finger on. The funny thing about it is  this only the first time this has happened with my father driving. Even though he was driving the car when we crashed I always feel very safe with him.

This got me thinking. If we did crash would people stop in the pitch darkness to help us or would they drive on by? How would the rest of my family find out if we, God forbid, died? Maybe they would hear of a crash on the radio while taking my sister to work. Or perhaps they would get a phone call from someone who went into my phone book and found the name Mam in my phone. I won't lie these thoughts upset me.

As we hurtled along the relatively quiet road at 100mph my eyes were drawn to the GPS system in my Dad's van. It told me we would reach our destination of my house at 7.36 a.m., it made me wonder if we did crash would the minutes keep adding as we lay there, the counter slowing going up and up.

The darkness lay ahead of us like an impenetrable abyss the headlights hardly making a dent. I took a deep breath and then the feeling passed. I felt safe again. I arrived safely at my door. It took a lot out of me and now I am quite sleepy.

I wish you safety and happiness.

Miss M. x